Imagine it’s a Friday morning. You’re amped up on coffee and the fact that the weekend is around the corner.
Heading into a meeting with your manager, you’ve got plans to speak up about an unclear expectation that’s been stressing you out.
But five minutes into the meeting… you feel your nerves pulling you into a downward spiral of second-guessing.
You want to assert yourself, but you find yourself slipping into old habits:
👉 you’re nodding along to ideas you don’t actually agree with.
👉 you’re doubting whether your concerns are worth bringing up
👉 and even though you want to “just be yourself,” you now feel lost as to what that even means.
So you leave the meeting feeling slightly defeated, telling yourself, “maybe next week.”
Does this sound at all familiar? If so, you are so NOT alone!
So how exactly can you go about “just being yourself” in new or uncomfortable situations?
By getting really clear on your own values and which “communication tactics” keep you ALIGNED.
Just watch this clip from inside one of our Presence Under Pressure group coaching sessions where I walk you through how I operationalize one of my own driving values in communication AND how I watch out for “red flags” that might tempt me to act like someone I’m not.
The bottom line?
Once you know what makes YOU uniquely tick, you can keep an eye out for habits that aren’t aligned with your true self, and break away from those habits that aren’t serving you.
The clearer you are on your own values and tendencies, the more in control and intentional you’ll feel. Staying true to yourself will feel more like a choice. You’ll know which behaviors reflect your values, and which signs to look out for when you’re falling out of sync with what makes you, YOU.
Here’s how ya do it…
1. Determine your driving values.
Try one of these exercises to hone in on what really drives you…
✔️ Narrow down your values from a larger list with this this worksheet.
✔️ Rank values to determine what’s more important to you.
✔️ Use the Bull’s Eye method to clarify & see where you currently stand.
2. Identify the behaviors that align with your core values.
Think about your daily communication tactics and behaviors. Do they support the values that drive you? For example, let’s say one of your core values is “optimism.” You might practice optimism by:
✔️ writing down 3 things you’re grateful for every day or sharing them with a friend or partner.
✔️ highlighting the good in sticky situations.
✔️ proposing possibilities instead of harping on problems.
3. Take note of the behaviors that get you off track.
Again, if one of your driving values is “optimism,” what behaviors do you notice when faced with a high-pressure situation? Do you find yourself…
✔️ clenching your jaw?
✔️ spiraling into negative self-talk?
✔️ taking shallow, quick breaths?
Take note of how these behaviors don’t align with your driving value of optimism, then counteract them. Release your jaw, repeat a helpful affirmation, or take a nice deep breath to get back on track.
You’d be amazed how quickly these 3 adjustments helped our Presence Under Pressure grad, Sophia, tap into a more aligned and empowered way of showing up in tense interactions.
Optimism was one of her driving values, and it was amazing to watch her identify the behaviors above as the things to look out for. Once she gained that awareness around what felt off for her behaviorally, and how to shift herself back into alignment, she felt so much more in the driver’s seat of how she was feeling. And her personal power became undeniable.
At the end of the day?
This is a continuous practice. Once you identify what “being true to yourself” means for you as the once-in-the-universe occurrence that you are, you start to pick up on which behaviors DO and DON’T align with that truth. When you get in the habit of choosing alignment over faking or forcing it, you start to wonder how not being true to yourself was ever an option.
And from there, you can start showing up as your truest, most empowered self… one interaction, one intention at a time.
The next steps for showing up as your truest self…
If today’s blog post has helped you, I’ve got looooads more tips and techniques for staying true to yourself when you feel that pressure to prove something…
I’m teaching a FREE Live Masterclass on October 5th! ✨
It’s the perfect appetizer to our Presence Under Pressure group coaching program (opening back up in October!). If you hop on the waitlist now, you’ll be the first to know when we open enrollment and how to reserve your free masterclass seat.
We’re gonna cover how to:
👉 Dial down nerves with science-backed tactics to help you feel more centered and in control.
👉 Avoid distracting mannerisms that undercut your credibility.
👉 Signal the qualities you want others to see in you – without faking or forcing it.
👉 Organize your talking points in advance or on the fly – in half the time, but with double the impact.
👉 Engage whoever you’re speaking to in a way that’s easy to follow and hard to forget.
>>> CLICK HERE to save your spot! I can’t wait to see you there. ✨
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