Hand Gestures: How to Make Sure You’re Using Yours Effectively!


It’s the age old question: “What on earth do I do with my hands when speaking! How much is too much? Am I even doing it right?”

In fact, “I don’t know what to do with my hands” is such a common concern that this month’s 3-part video series is made up of clips from actual client sessions.

You’ll see me coach real people on how to use their hands in the most effective way possible.

And get ready to cringe because I’m calling it: “When the Hands Go MARCHing In!”?

Get it? ‘Cause it’s March!? Yes, you can throw a virtual tomato at me. I couldn’t help myself. ?

After spending the past 6 years studying body language (and putting hundreds of people on tape so they can assess their own body language), I can say with absolute confidence that there are some specific ground rules for using your hands effectively in the Western world.

And to be clear…

When I say “ground rules for using your hands effectively,” I mean techniques that help your hands send the messages you want to be sending.

If you want to learn how to use those beautiful hands of yours to build trust and convey confidence – without having to think too much about it – this blog series is for you!

Each video is four to seven minutes long and easy to digest. You can watch them all in one sitting or take your time with one lesson per week. 

Here are some quick links for ya:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 1 is all about how to get those hands engaged without letting them become distracting or “too much.” Special shout-out to Cara Hale Alter, my mentor and founder of SpeechSkills, for teaching me the “gesture-box” technique!

Once you’ve watched, I’d love to hear from you!

Leave a comment below and tell me:

  1. What do you think about gesturing?
  2. Have you ever gotten feedback that you do it “too much?”
  3. Do you fall into the camp of people who try not to gesture because you’re afraid of doing it “too much?”

Now that your hands are moving in that “sweet spot,” let’s make sure they’re communicating the nonverbal messages you mean to be sending.

Like: “You can trust me.” “We’re in this together.” “I got you covered.” “I know what I’m doing.”

Watch Part II to learn how to get your hands to signal the qualities of openness, confidence, and trustworthiness you want others to see in you.

Once you’ve watched, I’d love to hear from you!

Leave a comment below and tell me:

  1. What shape do your hands automatically take on when you’re speaking?
  2. Do you typically talk with your palms up, down, or toward each other?

Now that your hands are moving in that “sweet spot” and they’re communicating the nonverbal messages you mean to be sending… let’s make this second nature. So you don’t have to think about it so much… 

Hint: It’s all about intention! But a very specific kind of intention.

Watch Part III now to learn how to shift your focus away from your hands and back to what you really want to focus on: engaging whoever you’re speaking to.

Another shout out to my mentor, Cara Hale Alter, who taught me this brilliant technique.

Once you’ve watched, I’d love to hear from you! 

Tell me in the comments: Is there someone you can go test this technique out on right now?!

And, if you got something out of this video, feel free to share it with your friends and colleagues. 

Finally, if you’re not already subscribed to my E-Tribe, sign up for your free copy of my Presence “Playbook” so you can show up to your next meeting or presentation with less nerves, undeniable presence, and a game plan for articulating yourself in the most clear and compelling way. 

In the meantime, keep showing up as the you, you most want to be. One intention, one interaction at a time.

Thanks so much for watching and I’ll see you next week!

All my love,

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