Love it or hate it, today we’re talking about an established SelfSpoken truth: the best way to improve your speaking skills is…watching yourself on video.
And before we go any further, I know what you’re thinking!
- “I can’t stand to watch myself on video—it makes me cringe, hard.”
- “I feel like I don’t even recognize the sound of my own voice.”
- “Isn’t there another way? Can’t I just self-reflect without having to watch myself back?”
Trust me, I’m right there with ya. But by watching yourself back, you’ll be more intentional and in charge of the impression you’re making on others! Seeing yourself on video…
- gives you insight into how others *actually* see you when you speak up (you may be surprised!)
- shows which unique “ticks” and habits show up when you’re on the spot
- helps you sort out which impulses are serving you and which are undercutting you
Don’t just take my word for it—hear what Sasha, a recent Presence Under Pressure alum, has to say about what she learned from watching herself on video:
Sasha’s key takeaways?
1. You don’t come off as nervous as you feel.
We often feel like we’re see-through when it’s our turn to speak. As if everyone can see the nerves underneath our skin, or the thoughts racing through our minds saying: “…okay, I can’t forget to add that last point I wanted to make… ahhh, am I rambling now?… Wait, did I mention that last point already?…”
But guess what? You’re NOT a glass box. We can’t see into you. That’s why one of the most important tools we use in the Presence Under Pressure program, even though cringe-y at first, is to watch yourself back on video.… because if YOU can’t even see the internal freakout from the outside, it’ll start to change the way you perceive your own skills and abilities.
You’ll start to trust that when you show up and you’re nervous, there’s no huge sign on your forehead saying “I’m freaking out on the inside!”
2. Your body language & eye contact can change both how you feel AND how you come across.
During her Presence Under Pressure journey, Sasha learned the importance of maintaining eye contact. Here’s what to do: whether on Zoom or in-person, pick ONE focal point at a time. If you’re on a video call, pick someone’s face near the camera lens that you can direct your energy toward.
If you get bored or distracted by that person, pick someone else and give them all your focus. This will make everyone on the call feel like you’re talking directly to them, which will entice them to stay engaged.
Not only will open body language and direct eye contact make you look more confident and capable under pressure… it’ll actually make you FEEL that way on the inside, too!
3. Flipping your focus will calm you down quickly.
The fastest way to calm your nerves while also putting everyone else at ease? Flip your focus outward! Nerves are a natural, physiological response to stress—but that doesn’t mean you have to put all your focus on them.
Instead, turn your attention to making OTHERS feel calm and at ease. This handy trick works by…
✔️ giving your limbic brain a job it can actually understand while breaking the feedback loop of your internal freak-out.
✔️ reinforcing the intention to calm down, without getting into a power struggle with your own emotions.
4. The more you practice, the more you’ll naturally OWN it.
At the end of the day? It’s all about learning to trust yourself. Because feeling nervous is part of being human… and it doesn’t have to make us our own worst enemy.
Instead, if you can start to understand the underlying causes of what’s happening in those moments of internal freakout from a physiological perspective… rather than fighting it, you can use proven, science-backed techniques to move through those nerves while at the same time projecting MORE confidence.
Not only will you look a lot calmer on the outside, but you’ll FEEL it on the inside. And from there, you can show up to each interaction with intention, purpose, and an authentic confidence that radiates out from within you.
Because here’s the thing…
Trying to improve your speaking skills is NOT about faking it ‘til you make it, or striving to prove to others that you’re smart, capable, and articulate.
It’s about getting to know how you *actually* come across… and using practical tricks to calm your nerves internally and show up with greater presence, confidence, and authenticity… no matter the situation.
Ready to improve your speaking skills even further?
If you could use some high-impact coaching on how to manage nerves, articulate yourself more clearly, and come across how you want to in all of your virtual and face-to-face interactions…
I’m teaching a FREE Live Masterclass on Tuesday October 5th at 10am PST / 1 pm EST!
✨ It’s called How To Articulate Yourself Clearly and Confidently When it Matters Most ✨
We’re gonna cover 5 game-changing strategies for how to:
- Dial down nerves with science-backed tactics to help you feel more centered and in control
- Avoid distracting mannerisms that undercut your credibility
- Signal the qualities you want others to see in you – without faking or forcing it
- Organize your talking points in advance or on the fly – in half the time, but with double the impact
- Engage whoever you’re speaking to in a way that’s easy to follow and hard to forget
>>> CLICK HERE to save your spot! I can’t wait to see you there.
It’s the perfect appetizer to our Presence Under Pressure group coaching program (opening back up for enrollment in October).
Our alumni call it…
“The most transformative experience of my career.” ~ Jess B.
“The best course or training I’ve ever taken.” ~ Audrey B.
“A life-changer!” ~ Ileana M.
“Like talking to your best friend and cheerleader, who wants the utmost best for you and actively provides feedback and challenges toward that goal.” ~ Vanessa A.
“A course for everyone, regardless of whether you typically communicate one-to-one or one-to-many. Run, don’t walk to sign up for this course!” ~ Carolyn S.
If your ready to elevate your skills and ask questions about this 8-week experience, come join us for the masterclass!!
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